This blog unpacks guest speaker Dr. R.T. Kendall’s sermon from September 8, 2024

We had the privilege of Dr. R.T. Kendall bringing the Word this Sunday at Radiant. Serving as the pastor of the historic Westminster Chapel in London for 25 years, he is not only an experienced theologian but also a prolific author, with nearly 90 books to his name. Despite being 89 years old, Dr. R.T. Kendall continues to share the Gospel worldwide, exemplifying his love for the word of God.

In his sermon, Dr. Kendall posed a question that deeply resonates with many of us:

Have you really forgiven those who have wronged you?

LET’S BREAK IT DOWN:

To truly live in full forgiveness, Dr. R.T. Kendall proposes seven different guidelines to live by:

1. Do Not Tell What They Did

In moments when we’re hurting, our initial and instinctual reaction is to tell everyone what happened. We desire justice—to prove our side of the story. Honestly, we can’t bear the thought that someone wronged us and got away with it. The first step is total forgiveness is the hardest: refrain from talking about the offense to others. There are exceptions of course, for therapeutic legal requirements, but choosing to abstain from sharing the wrongdoing offers two things: focus on healing and preventing bitterness. When we continue to open up a fresh wound, it will never heal. Jesus hears our cries, and He sees our tears. Because of this, no one else needs to know.

2. Do Not Let Them Be Afraid of You

When we enter a state of resolve where the offender no longer fears our presence, we demonstrate God’s heart. As hard as it is, just as He offers us peace and assurance through His forgiveness, we should seek to offer the same peace to those we forgive. When we hold power over someone by keeping them in fear—retaliation, gossip, physical or emotional threats—we are not truly free. Releasing them from fear liberates us, and allows us to grow closer to God. There is no fear in love.

3. Do Not Let Them Feel Guilty

Guilt has the power to destroy our relationships. When we totally forgive, it allows the opportunity for restoration. Imagine if every time we sinned against God, He chose not to continue His relationship with us. How lost we would be. How lonely we would be. When we forgive others as God forgives us, not only does it free us, but it allows our offender to walk in the same freedom that we experience from the grace that God bestows upon us.

4. Let Them Save Face

Jesus showed compassion and sought to preserve the dignity of those He forgave. How can we love like Jesus and not do the same? When we allow our offender to “save face,” we reflect God’s love and compassion. One of the hardest things we will ever have to do is look at those who have wronged us and seek to preserve their dignity. It’s our innate desire, encouraged by the Devil, to seek revenge. Revenge does not bring peace, but pursuing holiness can.

5. Protect Them from Their Darkest Secret

When we protect our offender’s darkest secret, even if that secret is the thing that hurt us the most, it fosters true repentance within them. When we want to expose those who hurt us most, we must choose the exact opposite. For many people, repentance is a process. Protecting someone's secret allows them to come to terms with their actions over time. We serve a God of compassion and mercy who encourages us to live in the same light. When our offender witnesses the love of Christ, it leads to a more heartfelt repentance that has endured time.

6. Pray for Them

Pray for them, and mean it. Not a half-hearted prayer where we tell ourselves we mean it, but really mean it! When we pray for those who have wronged us, we demonstrate the love that Jesus died on the cross for. He looked at every single person who doubted Him, hurt Him, beat and bruised Him, and still said, “I love you.” His heart for us should translate into our heart for others. We can't say that we love Jesus and then contradict the Cross. Earnestly pray for others, and do it frequently.

7. Make Forgiveness a Lifetime Commitment

Forgiveness is a life sentence. It’s not a one-time act but a continuous choice we make every day. When you think about it, forgiveness is a lot like love. We choose it actively, continue to pour into it to help it flourish, and it transforms our hearts. There are moments where forgiveness seems fleeting, but when we continue to renew our decision to forgive daily, we grow closer to God. Carrying around unforgiveness weighs down our souls. If we are called to walk in the Light, we have to release that weight.

Let's be honest…

Total forgiveness is incredibly hard. It's not something that comes naturally to any of us. The hurt, the betrayal, the sense of injustice—they cling to our hearts, making the concept of forgiving those who have deeply wronged us seem almost impossible. Yet, as followers of Christ, we are called to forgive, just as He forgave us.

If we find our strength in Him, we can find the strength to forgive.

Release them, and you will be released.

Here's a 5-day Bible reading plan and devotional guide based on this sermon:

Day 1: God's Providence in Our Pain

Reading: Genesis 45:1-8

Devotional: Joseph's story reminds us that God can use even our deepest hurts for His greater purpose. Like Joseph, we may face betrayal, false accusations, or unfair treatment. Yet, God is at work behind the scenes, orchestrating events for our good and His glory. Today, reflect on a painful experience in your life. How might God be using that situation for a greater purpose? Ask Him for the strength to trust His plan, even when you can't see the full picture.

Day 2: The Power of Forgiveness

Reading: Matthew 18:21-35

Devotional: Total forgiveness, as demonstrated by Joseph, is a powerful act that frees both the forgiver and the forgiven. It's not easy, but it's essential for our spiritual growth and emotional healing. Consider someone who has hurt you deeply. Are you holding onto resentment? Today, take a step towards forgiveness. Pray for that person, asking God to bless them. Remember, forgiveness is not a one-time act but a continual choice. Ask God for the grace to forgive as He has forgiven you.

Day 3: God's Love in Our Suffering

Reading: Romans 8:28-39

Devotional: In times of suffering, it's easy to question God's love. Yet, Paul assures us that nothing can separate us from God's love, and He works all things for the good of those who love Him. Like Joseph in prison, we may not understand why we're going through hardship. But God's love remains constant. Today, meditate on God's unchanging love for you. How can you lean into that love during difficult times? Ask God to reveal His presence in your current struggles.

Day 4: The Anointing Through Obedience

Reading: 1 Samuel 15:22-23

Devotional: R.T. Kendall's testimony shows how obedience to God, especially in difficult areas like forgiveness, can lead to a greater anointing. God values our obedience more than our sacrifices. When we choose to obey God's command to forgive, even when it's painful, we open ourselves to His power working through us. Today, consider an area where God is calling you to obey. It might be forgiving someone, serving others, or giving up a harmful habit. Take a step of obedience and ask God to anoint you for His service.

Day 5: Hope in God's Faithfulness

Reading: Lamentations 3:19-26

Devotional: Joseph's story is ultimately one of hope. Despite years of setbacks, God remained faithful to His promises. The same is true for us. No matter how dire our circumstances may seem, we can hope in God's unfailing love and faithfulness. His mercies are new every morning. Today, write down three ways God has been faithful to you in the past. Let these memories fuel your hope for the future. Ask God to strengthen your faith in His promises, even when hope seems distant.