In February of 2017, Chris and I came to a place in our marriage that seemed utterly hopeless. 

We didn’t agree on parenting, money, or how to spend our time. Chris’s behavior was growing more controlling and I was becoming more and more detached. For months I had been praying for change and relentlessly pleading with God to heal our hearts and restore our marriage. But nothing was getting better. In fact, it only seemed to get worse. It began to feel as though this was just what our marriage would be for the rest of our lives— cold, unequal, and unloving.

No matter how hard I tried to get him to seek help or prayer, it was as if he just didn’t want to change. Everything finally came to a head while we were on a family vacation. We got into a huge fight and I just couldn’t take it anymore! I was done. I was tired of watching Chris hurt his relationship with me and our girls. I decided it was time to separate.

I had absolutely no hope for our marriage, and a divorce seemed impossible to avoid. But despite the fact that all Chris had done for years was push me away, he wouldn’t go along with a separation. Instead, Chris asked if I’d agree to counseling. I couldn’t believe that he was actually willing to start seeking help! Not wanting to completely give up on our marriage, I agreed.

After getting in touch with Radiant’s Care Ministry, we began meeting with Pastor John Porter for counseling. We quickly developed an honest and open relationship with him and his wife, Melissa. They had such a deep understanding for us and what we had been through, and always led us back to God’s truth. Each session with them unlocked parts of our hearts that we thought had been lost forever! Slowly, we began to have hope that our marriage wasn’t over.

Opening up about our mess was the best decision we ever made. In May of 2017, Pastor John told us our next step was for Chris to move back home and for the two of us to participate in the Marriage God’s Way weekend. Immediately our relationship with our children was better, and we started to fall in love again. Soon after that, we participated in a Marriage Vision Retreat which further unlocked our hearts and showed us a righteous path that we finally had the tools to follow.

Our marriage isn’t perfect, but now we understand how to work through disagreements and we’ve made friendships that help hold us accountable. Now we lead a marriage community group in our home and help other couples live up to what God has for them in their marriages. Today we can look back at our struggles and truly see that God was working in both of us all along!

We are incredibly grateful for the marriage ministry at Radiant, and for the promise that God has for us during times of trouble. He is so good, and we can’t wait to see what our future with Him and Radiant Church holds.