180°
“ All this time I had felt as though I had a void in my life, but I never understood why, or what it could be.”
Growing up, a good relationship was hard to come by. When I was three years old, my parents divorced, forcing my mother and I to move to Michigan where most of our family lived. My grandparents are still married, however their relationship is non-existent. I have three aunts and they are all divorced. Separation was all I knew.
In my junior year of high school I left it all and moved to Tennessee to pursue a professional baseball career. While I was leaving one disappointing lifestyle, all I did in Tennessee was live out another shameful one. I was drinking, partying, having sex, and living a life of sin. College came around and I just kept on partying. All this time I had felt as though I had a void in my life, but I never understood why, or what it could be. Soon I fell out of love with baseball, and it felt as if my entire life’s purpose was gone. I left college and moved to Grand Rapids to live with my brother and got a job in a warehouse loading furniture. One day a woman walked into where I worked, and later that night we went out to the bar. About three weeks later she told me she was pregnant.
It took everything I had in me to tell my family. As I told my brother the news, so much disappointment washed across his face, and I just felt sick. All I could think about was that I was living in my brother’s basement, I had no degree, and my income could not provide for a family. I felt doomed. But my family supported me and I knew I had to do everything I could to provide for my child.
Our daughter Charlee was born nine months later, and my heart loved her more than I ever thought possible. In order to provide for her better, I got a good paying job, but it didn’t come without consequences. With this job I was traveling about seventy percent of the year. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it hurt so much to be away from my little girl so much.
A year later, Charlee’s mother and I started talking about wanting to have another child. At this point I loved my daughter more than anything, but her mother and I were still not married, and we only lived in an apartment. After we learned that we were expecting a baby boy, I bought a house as soon as I could, and we set a wedding date. Finally, life was beginning to feel a bit better.
But it wasn’t long until all of it came crashing down. One night when I was traveling for work, I got a call that my wife had been unfaithful in our marriage three separate times. From there, my life seemed to be in a never ending downward spiral. I filed for divorce, my then-wife was arrested for a DUI, and I felt like I was fulfilling some sort of family destiny of divorce and brokenness. This is not the life I wanted for my children! I wanted to give them the life that I never had— a life with happy relationships all around them, parents who loved each other, and a stability they couldn't imagine living without. But unfortunately it seemed like the apple would never fall far from the tree in our family.
I was at rock bottom. Because of the divorce and the fact that I still had to work, I wouldn’t be able to see my beautiful children every day. And to make things even harder, my ex-wife moved two hours east, and suddenly almost one hundred miles separated me from my children. Not being able to see their faces every day, and not being able to hug them and play with them was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. Dropping them off at their mother’s after only seeing them for two days was beyond terrible, and the next twelve days I always had ahead of me of just aching to be with them was more heartbreaking than I could have ever imagined. I begged God to reveal himself to me, and to show me what He had in this life for me.
“ I felt like I was fulfilling some sort of family destiny of divorce and brokenness.”
“For what felt like the first time in years, God answered my prayers!”
For what felt like the first time in years, God answered my prayers! I soon met my soulmate, Katelyn. Her and I both came from previous marriages that ended in spousal unfaithfulness, but Katelyn was different from any girl that I had ever dated. She came from a family with parents who were still together and who love each other, and she was strong in her faith and encouraged me to join her at Radiant! On our very first date I brought Charlee and Micah with me, and the three of them bonded as if they had known each other their whole lives. The instant connection between her and my children was so incredible and has been so loving and filled with peace. My children love Katelyn, and she loves them as her own— which makes me love her even more!
I asked Katelyn to be my forever and the kids asked her to be their Mama Kate. We signed up for the premarital class at Radiant and to our surprise our neighbors were the leaders! The premarital class was so eye-opening, and it really helped open a line of communication and provided ways for us to lead a long and successful marriage. Through marriage mentoring we have been pushed to explore the bible more, and to live a life through Christ. Positive relationships were starting to be abundant around me as I got more plugged in at church. We joined a small group, and my wife and I have the healthiest and strongest relationship that I have ever been in or seen. We even welcomed our newest bundle, Blair, into the world!
Growing up, I had always done things because I thought I had to or that it was just what you were supposed to do, but finally, after meeting Katelyn and getting plugged in at Radiant, I was making choices for the right reasons. I was making the choice to dig deeper and learn about Christ to form a real relationship with Him, and to give Him praise. I want to live my life for Christ and I want my children to see and flourish in His love. I got baptized at Radiant, and I am now living the life I have always dreamt of. I have a beautiful family that loves God with all their hearts, and I feel the pure and strong love of the Lord on us all the time. My life has changed 180 degrees since I walked into the doors of Radiant Church, and I thank God for that every day.
“My life has changed 180 degrees...”
Do you feel your story can serve as a hope and inspiration to others? Contact us at mystory@radiant.church.